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Friday, 27 March 2015

It's been ages... But, I'm Back!!!



So, yeah.  It's been aaaages since I last wrote on here.  There have been some ups, some downs but I'm firmly back on my journey now.

I've actually been back on the road since 5th January (The first Monday of the year... it's always best to start on a Monday!).  I weighed in at 15 stone 6.4lbs when I weighed in after Christmas and can safely say I had devoured all of the nice food over Christmas so that by the time I was restarting my journey I literally didn't want to see anything apart from vegetables, let alone eat any of it.

So, I started off with re-designing my eating from scratch.  Planning meals out for the week and strictly staying within my calorie goal of 1,500 max for the day, ensuring I had breakfast, a snack, lunch, a snack and then dinner.  This was also assisted by making sure I went to bed (and hopefully sleep) before midnight and was getting up at 8am each morning so that I was ready for breakfast without feeling like it was the middle of the night.

I also incoporated exercise into my life, scheduling it in with my new office hours so that it was routine for me to go to the gym at certain times, which now, nearly at the end of week 12, feels terrible if I miss it, like I've failed myself with laziness.

There have been some tough days, mainly when I've been on my period, that I have found it difficult not to eat everything in sight. I have dealt with these days by letting myself have a few treats and then working extra hard in my exercise plans.  I have also allowed myself on a Friday to have a chicken kebab, quite healthy, but still a treat.  On days, where I need some chocolate, I still allow myself a max of 2 squares of dark chocolate, which really satisifies the craving, whereas I used to eat a whole bar and still not feel satisfied.

I think now, I have worked too hard over the 12 weeks to go back to my old ways of no exercise, and eating whatever I want without a thought to what it will do to my body, my mood, or my enjoyment of food.

So, nearly finished week 12 of my new life and I am now 14stone 3.6lbs - a loss of 17lbs, and today I actually walked past my mirror and thought, 'Blimey! I'm much smaller than I remembered being.'  Obviously, most days I am still unhappy with my body but, that just pushes me to keep going, but I am proud of how far I have come in the past 12 weeks.  It also means that I am down 42.6lbs in total from my heaviest of 17stone 4lbs, and am now (finally!) into the 100 lbs rather than 200s.

I think it has helped to have my sister and brothers girlfriend on the journey with me as we are all checking in with each other throughout the day and, unlike many other weightloss groups, I can't lie or ignore the messages or meetings because they're family, I have to be responsible and accountable for my choices, especially because they are both trying so hard as well. We have agreed to do a 5K together in June, and because I have been running quite a lot in my gym routine, I have also signed up to a half marathon in October!! Insane!!

In the 12 weeks, my fitness has drastically improved.  I could just about jog for 30 seconds on 7.0km/h on my first day back in the gym with a 10min stroll in between.  Yesterday, I managed to jog on 8.7km/h for 8 mins, power walk on 7.0 for 5 mins and then jog for a further 8mins on 8.7 (with a lot of bargaining with myself, just get to the next 30 secs, next song, next minute etc...) Also, after the first day back in the gym at the end of the 30 sec jog the heart rate monitor warned me my rate was too high, now I am still close to the limit but it's not warning me anymore, proving that my heart and lungs and legs are all stronger and working together better to get me through!

October 4th 2015, half marathon.  I'm coming for you!

(If you want to sponsor my half marathon you can do so at )

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Tuesday Weigh in Week 3 update

I realise it's not Tuesday today but here is the update from yesterday.

Weight gain was 2lbs so am back to being 16stone (224lbs)

Finally got round to measuring myself this week though (inches):

                    Waist                       Hips                       Bust

So yeah, just a quick update because I'm so busy applying for jobs this week.  It was finally the 1st September meaning I had to give up on my dream of walking straight into a theatre job and simply apply for jobs I won't mind in London.  I'll then do voluntary experience in the theatre and work my ass off to get where I want but whilst earning some sort of money and getting my life back. 

Have a good week all :)

Monday, 2 September 2013

The failings of this week!

Hello all,

You may have guessed from m lack of posts but I have been a bit rubbish this week! I don't think it's going to be even anywhere near a good weigh in tomorrow.  I think I have probably put on at least the 3lb that I lost last week but we shall see tomorrow for sure.

Basically,  after I gave blood it was all good until I was sat on the toilet and passed out.  Moral of the story, don't lie to the nurses and yourself when they ask if you have had plenty to eat and drink.  Plenty to drink, yes, I'd had quite a lot of water.  Plenty to eat, erm... no.  I'd had a banana and that was all.  So that knocked it out of me for the rest of the day and also Wednesday, so no exercise and I ended up having crisps. Not even one bag, I had 3 bags of crisps and 2 penguin chocolate bars.  This then led me to be on a downer about how rubbish I had been and I ended up not doing any exercise.

Friday I found out my sister was having to go to America with work for a month, so I travelled up to London, drank crazy amounts of alcohol, in one bar I had a pitcher containing 8 vodka shots(500cals), red bull (115cals) and a bottle of champagne (650cals) and then had half a bottle of wine (300cals) on top of all that plus a few extra bits and pieces of drinks and to top it off I had a curry (580) and naan bread (395cals) to soak it all up.  Just that evening out comes to about 2540 cals - double what I am supposed to allow myself.  I don't do things by half... then I decided to not care, after all I was 'on holiday!'

Then I met up the next day with the ex boyfriend, drank copious amounts of gin and rum, ate cakes and continued to fail.

So tomorrow, I shan't cry and throw a paddy about my weight gain, I deserve whatever that scale says.

But, it's not about giving up at the first hurdle.  Tomorrow is the start of a new weight loss week.  I shall accept it, pick myself up and run on. (Literally!)

Goodnight for now.  I shall update you tomorrow.

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Blood Donations

Today, I finally got round to donating blood for the 2nd time.  Being O Positive means that I am in the most common of blood types (with around 37% others being the same type) but this is a universal donor and can be given to around 83% of recipients so it's a really helpful type to be.  The first time I did it was back in March 2007 so it's taken a while!  I think it's a really good thing to do because there are so many people out there that require blood for different things and only 4% of people in the UK take the time to donate. That's only 4 out of every 100 people! If you break it down it's one person in every 25 and the way I see it my whole family is made up of around 25 people so if one of those gets sick I'd like to know that the resources were available.  But then, you can only give one pint each donation (3 times a year for women, or 4 times a year for men) so if someone needed a blood transfusion it's quite likely my one pint (or 3 in a year) wouldn't be able to cover it!  I first decided to donate blood when my mum got ill with cancer and every now and, from time to time, would require extra blood to help her body to fight harder, and I remember always feeling so grateful to those people that had taken the time to donate blood to help others.

Apart from helping the people who need the blood to get better, or even to survive illnesses, there are great benefits for the donor (and no, I don't mean the awesome keyring I got!).  In the way of health and life expectancy generally women live longer than men and this may be to do with the fact that they lose blood each month through menstruation.  So here are some of the benefits for a donor health - 

Weightloss: I can't exert myself and go for a run today, but I've done something way more calorie burning! Donating a pint of blood burns 650 calories on average! That's way more than the amount that would have been burnt by me going for a run!

Prevention of cancer and aging:  It reduces the iron build up in your blood which can help reduce your risks of getting cancer because iron in the blood increases the level of free-radical damage to your body, in turn increasing the risk of cancer and aging. 

Reduces risk of Type II Diabetes: Several studies have found that by reducing the iron stores by getting rid of excess iron and minerals the sensitivity to insulin is increased and therefore risk of type II diabetes is reduced.

Heart Problems: It can also help with heart problems because the body will replace the blood lost in 2 days.  But this is mostly just fluid, it can take up to 56 days for all of the red blood cells to regenerate up to their former numbers.  In turn, this makes the blood diluted and thinner therefore, applying less pressure to the heart and arteries.  

So, it's all good news! Only bad part of it was the fact that when I sat up I nearly passed out but the nurses were absolutely lovely and got me back to my former self by feeding me biscuits and giving me fluids :)  I really recommend it to anyone that is able to give blood!

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Tuesday Weigh in (Week 2)

Today was weigh in day and I'm 222 lbs so a loss of 3lb since last Tuesday which I am quite happy about because it's going down.  The annoying thing is though, where I weighed myself everyday I know that at one point this week it was 221 so would have been a loss of 4lb and made my spreadsheet look better. I also didn't meet my goal of being 221 by today :/ I know that fluctuations occour though and I'm definitely stronger than I was last week so I am really quite happy.

I'm going to try and not weigh myself every morning this week, perhaps just every other morning because I don't want it to all be about the numbers.  It needs to be about how I'm feeling in myself and listening to my body if it needs a rest or if I can work harder and push myself.

Yesterday I think I did quite well in regards to the food side of things because we went to a summer fete and there were all sorts of tasty and delicious foods there that normally I would have not given a second thought about whether to buy them or not.  I really really wanted a burger and some fried small doughnuts, but I resisted and had some strawberries and blueberries instead.  However, being out and about all day yesterday did mean that I didn't get a chance to do any workout at all, but 1 day shouldn't matter too much.

I'm going to go for a run today, do some strength training with the resistance band and try and get my plank up to 20 secs for 3 reps.  I'd like to lose another 3lb by next Tuesday and be 219 (15stone, 9lb)

Have a good day all :)

Current weight: 15stone 12lb (222lb)      Current BMI:     38.09

Goal Weight:     8 stone 10lb (122lb/55.3kg)        Left to lose:       7 stone (100lb)

Sunday, 25 August 2013

Sunday - Run Day

Well, hello there!

So today has definitely gone tons better than yesterday did.  I tidied my room, hoovered and organised my DVDs.  I also worked my flippin ass off as I mentioned yesterday I would be trying to do.

My workout consisted of going out jogging + walking for 30 mins, and jogging to the park is now an achievable thing, knowing I managed it once there is no excuse for me to stop before I get there now. When I got in from jogging I did stretches in the garden, my brother came out and helpfully told me I looked like a beetroot! All I could think was, 'If you still look cute at the end of the workout, you didn't work hard enough!' :D

After the stretches in the garden I went to my newly cleaned room and got my resistance tubing out.  I received this about 3 days ago and for £2.99 it's definitely one of the nest workout things I've purchased in my life. Using this to increase the intensity I did 10x10 squats, 10x10 bicep curls, 5x10 lateral raises. I tried so hard I wanted to cry, particularly on the lateral raises because my arms were buuurning!! After working my legs and arms, I did 2x15sec planks to work the abdominal section.

All in all a good day to work out and I definitely feel so much better than I did in yesterdays post.  Today I could achieve anything!

The one stumbling block I have hit today though has been regarding my calories.  As you probably know I am trying to hit 1210 calories a day because I want to be healthy and strong, not just thin.  Today though, I have only hit 800 :/ I got up too late for breakfast, lunch consisted of cous cous + a fruit salad (blueberries, strawberries, raspberries) with some Vanilla bio yoghurt.  But, for dinner, my dad made Honey and Mustard chicken with Aunt Bessie roast potatoes and cauliflower.  I really dislike mustard and due to the sauce being over everything I had to reassemble my dinner.  So, I segregated the chicken, 2 potatoes and 3 florets of cauliflower and using kitchen towel removed as much of the sauce as I could, but I was still apprehensive of the mustard element so didn't even eat much of what I had.

I'm sure one day of eating too few calories won't really hurt but I just wanted to have a perfect day to lead the rest of my days by the example.

G'night all... 2 days to weigh in... hopefully Tuesday I will see if it's been worth it this week. Feel free to let me know how y'all are doing :) xx

Saturday, 24 August 2013


Today has been quite the failure in regards to losing weight.  I feel very disappointed in myself.  It rained all day today and so I used that as an excuse to literally just lay in bed all day watching TV and playing on the Xbox.  I think I've probably only walked around 100 steps at the most.  So now, I feel guilty, the day has passed by and I've wasted a day of weight loss, meaning I am a day further away from my goals. :(  I'm the only one to blame,  I need to stop making excuses for myself to be lazy and just man up to the challenge.

It's not that I'm no longer motivated because I am.  For example, my Dad knew I was feeling crappy so he bought me chicken kebab and cheesy chips for my dinner and also bought some cake.  So I ate the chicken kebab and salad, but left half the pitta, ate half the chips and somehow, resisted eating the cake.  (Although I gave the chocolatey goodness a good sniff!) This reaffirms that I am still on the right track because a couple of months ago I would have scoffed the lot and not given it a second thought.

It's just sooo difficult.  Day to day isn't too bad really apart from when I have failed myself, but I keep getting drawn into the thoughts of I have to lose over 7 stone before I'm in a healthy range for my height.  That's around 45% of me. It took me a year to put on 3 stone when my mum passed away and then another year to lose 1.5 stone of that.  I feel like the 'me' I expect to see in the mirror and never do is still so far away that it feels unachievable a lot of the time and it makes me want to just give into the obesity.  But, then again, that's how I got into this situation of turning 23 at 17 stone.  I can remember being 13 stone when I was 15/16 and feeling like it was such a long way to go to be healthy that I didn't think I could do it and so I just settled into obesity.

Being overweight and therefore, tired and lazy, is all I've ever known. In truth, I'm terrified of being healthy and slim because I know it will change me.  Also, being stressed about it being so long a road is a bit silly I think because it's not like once I get there I can stop exercising and eat all the foods I like again.  This has to be a lifestyle change and not just a temporary alteration.

I've also come up with a new way to check progress in relation to my body strength and that is to constantly try and maintain and eventually beat my Personal Best times at Planking and Wall sits.  I tried it yesterday and could only manage 13 seconds plank (after which I was sweatier than if I'd ran!) and managed to build up to a 45 second wall sit.  (Here is the lovely Bob Harper from Biggest Loser showing how to do a plank properly )

Well, tomorrow is a new day, Sunday - Runday? I need to work my ass off tomorrow to ensure I meet my weight loss goal of being 15 stone 11 on Tuesday weigh in. 3 days to lose a further 1.5lb is achievable as long as I actually move from the bed!